


In This Moment (We're Endless)

by roots_wife



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: F/F, feelings resurface.., post s5 fix-it, they meet again a few years later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:40:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roots_wife/pseuds/roots_wife
Summary: It’s been years. It’s been years since you last saw her and she is still the most beautiful woman you have ever met, probably the most beautiful woman you will ever meet, possibly the most beautiful woman in the world. And there she is, sitting at a corner table at the small café she ordered you to.





	In This Moment (We're Endless)

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to [kla1991](http://archiveofourown.org/users/kla1991/pseuds/kla1991) for looking over it^^

It’s been years. It’s been years since you last saw her and she is still the most beautiful woman you have ever met, probably the most beautiful woman you will ever meet, possibly the most beautiful woman in the world. And there she is, sitting at a corner table at the small café she ordered you to. Not exactly that she had to order you, because it is not only now that you realize how much you’ve missed her. It is not the first time you regret never calling her, never asking for the coffee she promised you, never needing to save the world. It is also not that the world didn’t need any saving, it’s just that maybe, you tried to save yourself from everything you never dared to admit. Because now that you see her here – she hasn’t noticed you yet – everything you tried to escape from, all those feelings you never wanted to have, they come crashing down on you all at once.

Now she turns around entirely and for a second, you forget how to breathe. Has it always been like this? Has she always had this effect on you? Your eidetic memory may not let you forget things, but it doesn’t keep you from denying them, burying them deep inside you, suppressed, not forgotten.

Her dark eyes draw you to her. Tentatively you sit down in front of her – your eyes stay fixed on your hands, not able to face her just yet.

“Myka.”

Her soft voice forces you to look at her now, finally, after all this time, and you are quite sure your heart stops beating because her beauty hits you all over again. Her raven hair falls freely over her shoulders, glossy as ever, though a little longer than you remember.

You want to say something; want your voice to cut through the awkwardness between the two of you, but no sound leaves your lips. All you can do is look at her, wondering, wondering how you could have been so blind. How it is only now that you realize that that’s not what friendship should feel like.

Distantly you realize that she’s started talking to you again, and you should really try to _focus_. And no, not on her lips, not on the barely visible lines on her face, around her eyes, and not on her lips, not on her lips, not on her lips.

“Sorry,” you hear yourself saying. “Wh- what?”

“I said it’s nice seeing you again, but you seem a little… distracted, darling.”

You can feel the blood rising into your cheeks. Hiding your feelings has never been your strongest suit, your face always giving away way too much.

“Helena, I… I’ve missed you.” Probably more than she could ever know, more than you ever knew.

She smiles softly. “I think I can see that.”

Now you’re really blushing. And there’s so much you want to ask, but your mouth doesn’t obey you. You want to ask _why_. Why all this. Why didn’t you choose me from the start? Why’d you tell me ‘don’t walk away from your truth’ and then let me leave? And you regret. Regret not telling her to come back with you, to leave Nate, to come with you, to be with you. You regret being with Pete, Pete who is like a brother to you, and believing in a fucking magic table. And now you decide to be brave.

“Do you remember what I said to you, that night in Boone?” you ask, quietly, and maybe not brave enough, not yet. “I told you to fight for him. For Nate. But…”

“That was not what you meant.”

Had it really been that obvious? But you remember how hard you had to fight to restrain your tears from falling, and it really shouldn’t be surprising.

“No. No, it’s not.” Now there’s silence again. Slowly you lift your eyes from the table – you didn’t even notice that that’s where they’d wandered, again. The nearness of her makes your breath hitch, and as yours finally meet them, her eyes are like black holes, pathways to unknown universes and endless wonder. You can’t imagine a sweeter death than drowning in them, getting lost, over and over again.

“It’s just… I didn’t want you to fight for him. I wanted you to fight for _me_. I wanted nothing more than you to see that this life couldn’t make you happy, that _he_ couldn’t make you happy, that he never could’ve given you what you need. I just… I wanted you to come home. With me.”

So that was it, it’s out, but you don’t feel as relieved as you thought you would. Anxiously you try to read her, but she is nothing like the books she used to write and you’re not sure what to do.

When she looks at you now, there’s nothing but vulnerability and tenderness in her face and there’s something like hope, hope that everything is going to be alright, and maybe something else you can’t exactly place.

“Finally,” Helena sighs. “Myka, can you… can you even imagine how much I wanted to come with you that day? How much I wanted you to tell me to just leave with you? I understand that you might’ve thought it would make me happy, but how could it ever –” she takes in a strained breath – “How could it ever make me happy to watch you walk away from me? How could I ever find a home if it’s not with you?”

It’s only now that you realize you’re crying. Suddenly there’s salt and wetness on your lips where it hasn’t been before, a little bit like the sea, but cruel in a whole other way that numbs your heart and makes you want to change the past. You try not to wonder what you could’ve had by now, had you not driven away that night, had you fought for her like she wanted you to. Like you had wanted to, too, but you have been a coward, afraid of yourself and how much she meant to you – still means to you.

And the look she gives you now… you’re scared. Scared that she is going to say more, because you’re pretty sure you’re going to burst into sobbing if another single word leaves her lips. Her eyes are so full of emotion you fear they will overflow and soon you won’t be the only one with tears streaming down your face.

“Do you wanna get out of here? Go somewhere less… crowded?” you ask, still kind of unbelieving she seems to feel the same way about you.

An affirmative noise is all she gives you, and you’re oddly thankful. The coffee you’ve ordered remains mostly untouched (well, it’s tea for Helena – you smile internally, she’s so unapologetically British and oh, how you’ve missed that) but you can’t bring yourself to care. You almost gasp as she takes you by the hand to practically drag you out of the café and onto the road, whispering into your ear that her place is nearby and if you want, you could go there. She doesn’t leave you much of a choice, because honestly, right now you wouldn’t say no if she asked you to move to New Zealand and live in a lonely cabin among just trees and sheep with her. Because all you want is to be with her now and never let her go again.

 

Helena’s apartment isn’t very spacious, not meant for much more than one person to live in, and you’re incredibly relieved the walls are empty of photographs of people who eventually don’t mean enough to her. You take in your surroundings and can’t help but smile; this place looks so very much like Helena – with old dark furniture, clocks and carpets and a charming Victorian flair. Suddenly you’re very aware of the feeling of her hand, which is still holding yours firmly, sending shots of electricity up your arm and into your heart and through your whole body. It tells you exactly what you need right now, now and forever, and you’re almost sure she feels it too, this aching longing for something you both thought was long lost in the past. But the thing is, you’re _almost_ sure. So you do nothing, you just look at her with the certainty that your eyes give away everything you’re too scared to ask.

And she looks at you in return, her eyes pleading and darker than ever and you know she wants it too, but still you wait. You want her to say it.

“Myka, you’re not with someone, are you?” she asks instead, shyly.

You can’t help but laugh at the thought. 

“No. Actually, I haven’t been with anyone since Pete and I…”

“You were with Pete?!” Helena interrupts you incredulously, “Of all people, you chose him? I’m sorry to say that, but that… that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Oh believe me, I’m aware of that. And I just… it was a mistake, and I don’t want to make any of those again, okay?” You wish she would let it go, as much as you did, as much as you don’t want to let go of her now.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Is that all?”

“Okay, but will you make me your next mistake?” she smirks. It makes your insides feel even warmer, if that’s possible.

“Oh Helena. How could loving you ever be a mistake? It isn’t now and it never was.”

Suddenly, there are tears on her face and you step forward; you raise your hands to wipe all of it away, the tears and the pain and the past. She’s here with you now, she wants you as much as you want her and you can’t believe you were eventually brave enough to admit that.

It feels like a hundred lifetimes have passed when she finally pulls you into her, when she finally pushes up on her toes and presses her lips onto yours and her body against yours and you against the wall.

 

It’s way too much too fast, but neither of you can be bothered because you have waited, you have waited for this moment for way too long to hold back. It is too rough for a first kiss, too urgent to remain just this and Helena’s tongue is in your mouth and her teeth are on your lips and you have to be careful not to drown. You feel her whole body pressing into yours, soft curves and hard edges just the same and you want to pull her into you entirely, you want your bodies and mouths and souls to melt together until you’re one. And maybe you do just that, because there is a heat within you as if she turned your heart into the sun or as if a new star is born, sending burning rays of light and warmth into places definitely lower than your chest. It doesn’t take long until your positions are reversed and you have her pushed against the wall, her skin soft beneath your hands as they wander underneath her shirt. And as she arches into your touch you know, you know that you have to take her right here as you are standing, or something inside you is going to break.

You’re struggling to pull her pants down her legs and it takes too long, her heavy breathing is distracting you and those pants are really way too tight. You wouldn’t have complained if you didn’t have to take them off – she looks breathtaking in them, even more than she normally does. Then, finally – and you put your mouth on her as soon as you rid her of enough of her clothes to reach her – Helena lets her head fall back against the wall, letting out the most arousing moan you have ever heard. Her hands are in your hair and they’re pulling; they’re pulling you closer still and they’re pulling at the strings of your heart and you could come only by feeling her against you and hearing her making all of these sounds. She whispers your name – “ _Myka…_ ” – as you slip two of your fingers inside of her and she is so wet, you know she’s not going to last much longer.

Her juices are sweet on your tongue and as you feel her muscles contract, you wish to be lost in her all over again. You want to lose yourself in the dark void of her eyes and bathe in the ivory of her skin; you want to absorb her into you, into your soul and into your heart. Slowly you let your fingers slip out of her, reluctantly, because her warmth is what’s keeping you alive. You let yourself brush against her body as you stand up, and the light contact along with Helena’s soft moan almost makes you come undone. Her lips look softer than heaven and you carefully map them with your still slick fingers and you bring your own lips to hers, tasting her on them. Helena lets out a guttural noise as you lick the sticky wetness from her mouth.

 

After that she takes you to bed, she rids you of all your clothes and herself of her remaining ones. She is on top of you and inside of you and you two are nothing but a mess of tangled limbs and hot sweat and burning desire and oh, maybe that’s love there hidden where your bodies melt together. Your lips meet again and again and again and you can’t believe that this is what you’ve been missing out on, that this is what you could’ve had all along, if only you’d been ready.

“Helena.”

Your lips form her name almost involuntarily; you can taste it on your tongue like she’s meant to be yours. As you both come down from your high you lie entangled, fingers and legs and hearts intertwined.

“What is it, darling?” Helena mouths, her eyes closed like she is already drifting off to sleep.

And you don’t know how to tell her, you don’t know how to say those heavy words to her. Those three words that you’ve been wanting to say to her for so long already and never had the chance, those three words that put a weight on your chest which never goes away and feels both comforting and slightly off-putting. You move your face closer to her; you kiss her cheek and her earlobe and bury your nose in her hair. And you whisper in her ear…

“I smell apples.”

She smiles knowingly and moves to kiss your lips, softly, tenderly, and it feels like endless wonder when she tells you.

“You are an extraordinary woman, Myka Bering. Maybe I’ll write a book about you. Maybe I’ll write a book about both of us and how my love for you is big enough to save the world a hundred times over and over again and about how I _love you, too_.”

 

 

The End

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> comments would be very much appreciated, please tell me what you think!^^
> 
> title taken from [In This Moment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38zRTBJrZHY) by The Birthday Massacre.
> 
> you can find and befriend me on tumblr [@baeringandwells](http://baeringandwells.tumblr.com/)!


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